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What Does Mental Illness Feel Like?

I have cried at least five times today. 
Why? I have no idea. That's what mental illness feels like.
Despite writing gratitude lists twice a day and knowing how fortunate I am to live this life. Despite meditating daily and going to yoga and doing Reiki. Despite being on proper medication and going to therapy weekly. Despite countless CBT and DBT psychoeducation sessions at the hospital. Despite eating well and moving my body. Despite uplifting podcasts and self-help books.  Despite countless daily affirmations. Despite dousing myself in essential oils. Despite surrounding myself with people who uplift me.
Some days feel impossible. That's what mental illness feels like.
Like no one cares, even when they tell you 1000 times they do. Like you're always making the wrong choice. Like not knowing how to make a decision for yourself. Like you're never doing as much as you could to get better or doing it wrong. Like feeling like you're going backward in the progress you…

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